I was 14 or 15...I never told anyone.
He wanted it and I felt threatened. He told me he had the ability to get me kicked out of the institution.
I remember it was in December...when we were left with assistant houseparents. He would act as the assistant houseparent on Wednesdays or Thursdays, one of the two.
It was six or seven in the afternoon. We were on the second floor.
I went to shower. Like it or not, there was no privacy. There weren't doors or clear ways to not be seen.
I was showering and he kept watching me.
He got close to me.
He started touching me.
He kissed me.
I stayed quiet to not yell as he...he grabbed me by the back and began to kiss all over my body.
He penetrated me.
He kept going until he finished.
After, I was in pain, you know?
By this time, it was time for dinner and we had to be in bed by 10.
That night I went to bed afraid. Every time I had to be around him I was afraid.
Sometimes I would have nightmares about him or I would stay up afraid that it would happen again.
He told me, give me your word that you won't say anything to anyone because I can get you kicked out.
Even after I left, I lived with the fear that he would call me out or that someone else would do something to me.
Honestly, there needs to be more vigilance. And I'm not talking about cameras because sex can happen anywhere.
If I could have asked for one thing it would have been a psychologist or a trustworthy person to vent to, a person that wouldn't look down on you or make you feel "less than" because you were touched, because you were abused.
They need to have people you can talk to, not that will go and tell the person who abused you so they can threaten you, but specialized people who will listen to you and help orient you in these aspects because at the institution they don't talk enough about these things, about sex and healthy sexuality.
They need to have specialized people prepared to care of the kids, not ex-Niños [Niños alumni], because you can't just have any person there.
I can tell you that even a director, a doctor, or teacher could do what they wanted there.
Economically, we were fine, but in other areas there was a lot of lack.
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